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Old 29 Jun 2006, 09:01 PM   #1
Liverpool 'til I die......
 
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Default People and their Drinks

PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS


A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customerís personality on what drinks they ordered?
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK ...

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, sheíll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Donít.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and youíre in.

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......


IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
Heís probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
Heís poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
Heís old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

WINE
Heís hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks heís sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY
He doesnít give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JACK DANIELS
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
Heís gay (blatantly) - donít turn your back or pick up any dropped change.
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:08 PM   #2
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That's priceless, lfcrule1972. Love it!

Wine drinker myself, but I think Paris is a bit spoiled!
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:40 PM   #3
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TEQUILA, Please ......
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:40 PM   #4
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I have never been to Paris, either the French Capital nor the Hotel Heiress.....
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:41 PM   #5
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Mines a whisky then
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:42 PM   #6
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Doesn't look good for Guinness drinkers tho eh ?
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:43 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lfcrule1972
I have never been to Paris, either the French Capital nor the Hotel Heiress.....
Capitol would be good, the other ..... PASS !
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 10:45 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lfcrule1972
Doesn't look good for Guinness drinkers tho eh ?
Beer .... favorite ... Mich, Amber Bock
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Old 29 Jun 2006, 11:19 PM   #9
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Makers Mark Johnie Walker or Henry Weinhards basically all i drink(as far as alcohol is concerned). I'll drink Jack Daniels if they don't have makers so i guess i need to learn how to sew and knit, but how will that get me laid?

BTW ALienX they have Michelob in Area 51, Anheusher Busch is everywhere!

Last edited by floresdave; 29 Jun 2006 at 11:21 PM
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Old 30 Jun 2006, 01:11 AM   #10
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I'm an import, guinness and rum drinker almost exclusively. LT will be arresting me shortly....
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Old 30 Jun 2006, 07:16 AM   #11
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There is no substitute

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Old 30 Jun 2006, 07:21 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by floresdave
Makers Mark Johnie Walker or Henry Weinhards basically all i drink(as far as alcohol is concerned). I'll drink Jack Daniels if they don't have makers so i guess i need to learn how to sew and knit, but how will that get me laid?

BTW ALienX they have Michelob in Area 51, Anheusher Busch is everywhere!
It won't, we'd probably set you up with that cowboy in the corner singing show tunes! LMAO
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Old 30 Jun 2006, 08:25 AM   #13
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Pina Coladas and Margaritas for me!!
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Old 5 Jul 2006, 09:02 PM   #14
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Hey this is turning into a meeting of alcoholics anonymous......... I will go first....

Hi everyone - I am lfcrule1972 and I am an alcoholic.............
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Old 5 Jul 2006, 09:22 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lfcrule1972
Hey this is turning into a meeting of alcoholics anonymous......... I will go first....

Hi everyone - I am lfcrule1972 and I am an alcoholic.............


The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem!!!

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