Monitoring Software

[drfsupercenter]

My parents are going to give me my computer back, but they still don't trust me. Originally they were going to make me move it into the family room... but fitting a computer the size of mine into a crammed space is not a good idea.

However, I told them about programs that let you view what another computer on the network is doing as if you were in front of it, which we have or used to have at school.

Does anyone know of any programs like this, that are free or relatively cheap? It's not like I do anything bad on the computer anyway, so I don't really care if they see what I am doing

But it can't be CPU intensive like LogMeIn, since I can't sacrifice what little performance speed I already have.


Additionaly, my parents don't trust me but they might trust you guys, seeing as some of you have kids of your own and we all know that parents never lie (or at least they say they don't)

1. The history - the number one way for my parents to tell where I go on the Internet is the history. They first said "oh well you're too smart for that... you could just clear it." To which I responded "but if I delete it you would know I was up to no good as there would be nothing there."
However, they think I could just modify it.

Am I correct in saying there is no way to modify the history in Internet Explorer, meaning if it shows it there it would be accurate?

2. the Internet is really only the only negligible program, seeing as other programs such as MSN Messenger can keep logs if I tell them to. And I doubt they would be like "Oh my God, he's using MS Word!"

Is that true as well?

I need your guys' help to convince my parents, because if I can't use the computer I can't post here

[ed klein]

You need to train or retrain your parents.

You and your parents are both getting older and you are ALL in the same family. You both need to work as a complete team together, and both trust each other as family.

If I was in your shoes this is what I would try to do to exist as a complete family and not as a broken home.

Sit down with your parents on a one on one basis and show them exactly what you do on the computer, teach them what you are doing, you will gain friendship and trust for each other if you work together as a team. They can learn about computers from you with hands on practice and you can learn from them as your parents and see where they are coming from.

Work as a team together, after all you are ALL FAMILY, so stick together and their should be NO NEED for monitoring software.

[Chewy]

danny,
1. only one browser installed(IE)
2. show them history and how it works
3. open up the temp files in IE, show them view objects and files, bore the heck out of them

[toomanycats]

My computer is in my family room. I don't know why or what happened but I would recommend you put it right out in the open. Build trust with your family,it's the only one you'll ever have. Be cramped for a while, when you build their trust you will be able to put it where ever you need to. It would also be a good opportunity to share the computer experience with them. If they don't have their own computer then in reality your computer IS the family computer. MAKE IT a family experience. You have no idea how fast the time you have with them is going. Take advantage of it.

[vw56german]

I dont quite know how it got this far, but couldn't some of this be solved by making an administrator account for your parents and you having a restricted one. I believe you can set it so no programs can be added or items deleted without admin access. That way you would have to have one of them be there when changes are made.

This could be a good thing for you as you would get to educate them on what it is that you do with the pc and what your interests are. I was under the impression that their big issue was the amount of time you spent on line and on the pc, but if you have been poking around in naughty areas of the internet, then maybe we will have to have Lt. bring you in for a special episode of "Scared Straight".

But seriously, work with them so they understand what you do, have them set the rules with you, follow the rules and show them the value of computers and build back the trust that was lost. One day maybe I will tell you what my 14yo daughter did and how long it took for her to be able to use the pc without supervision again.

[katzdvd]

My parents are going to give me my computer back, but they still don't trust me.

Hi Danny, I know I echo the thoughts of all parents here when I say, "When You have kids of your own someday, you will understand" LOL

Seriously though; it is a tough time to go thru; I have 1 pc, with monitoring/blocking software installed. My 13 yo uses this pc, & of course I "trust" him, but I am also not niave...I was 13 once upon a time too

toomanycats, along with the others made very good points;

If they don't have their own computer then in reality your computer IS the family computer. MAKE IT a family experience. You have no idea how fast the time you have with them is going. Take advantage of it.

Time is going by VERY fast - enjoy each day w/ them even tho they are "cramping your style", to put it in my 13 yr olds' words.

@vw

One day maybe I will tell you what my 14yo daughter did and how long it took for her to be able to use the pc without supervision again.

I hear you loud & clear! kids will be kids! lol

BTW Dan, you would not want to live in my house; I am a very conservative parent; we even have the TV guardian (cuss box) connected to the tv so all those nasty words are filtered for "little" ears!

At any rate, I think the main theme echoed with all the posts is trust. As mentioned previously, sit down with both of your parents, Gently discuss the situation, & maybe you can reach an agreement! Just don't try it after they put in a Long, Hard, Frustrating day at work!!!

All the best,
katz

[anonymez]

Does anyone know of any programs like this, that are free or relatively cheap?

UltraVNC, tightVNC, both free/open source

sorry to hear it danny, but i agree with the others, learn to trust eachother, moving the PC to the family/other room is the much better solution, also shows you have nothing to hide

[drfsupercenter]

Well it's just that I have so many components, like the VCR in my room that is hooked up to the TV tuner, my printer, not to mention my stereo, I always listen to music while I am on the computer.

I just don't see what would be wrong with them checking the IE history, it's not as if they don't come up here and check what I am doing every once in a while anyway.

@katzdvd, my parents don't even let me watch stuff with tons of swearing anyway LOL

[soup]

Trust has to be earned, so earn it & get it back no matter what you have to do. Sounds to me like the trust you had earned with your parents is no longer there & trust me when I tell you it can take a long time if ever to fully get that back. So follow the good advice given & be totally open with your parents so that you can start earning that trust back because the sooner you start the better it is going to be for the whole family.

[jamoskeag3]

Cannot agree more with Soup and the others. Its all about trust
You are looking for the tech solution (and I understand that, given your age), but the ultimate solution isnt tech driven. its human driven. trust is that human quality. if you have it they'ed let you watch it on the roof!
Not that i need to know, but you must think about what you did to lose that trust and how best to get it back.
For what its worth, my daughter lied to me at about your age. I had her write a 5 page paper on lying and trust, (with 4 substantial footnotes/bibliography), before she could go out again. (And i do not think i was a strict parent-she just crossed the wrong line.) It made her think, which was the point of the exercise.
So ,sorry, for whatever reason, i tend to side with your parents.

[Derree]

Geez Danny what were you doing that got you in trouble hmmm... and yes whey you have kids you will understand...I have had to ban mine from the PC as well a time or two...you could show you parents
this maybe it will help them.

[kevdriver]

Drf, Why don't you just offer them a chance to sit in on a session of you working on the computer or helping out on this site. This is where you spend most of your time............ RIGHT.......... !!! . Once they see where your computer time is spent, they won't be so paranoid about all the time you do spend on the computer. Just a suggestion................

[drfsupercenter]

But then there's MSN conversations and stuff... I don't want them getting into my personal life. But true I do keep this forum open as much as I can

[vw56german]

But then there's MSN conversations and stuff... I don't want them getting into my personal life. But true I do keep this forum open as much as I can

This will be a difficult one to hear Danny, but by definition a parent will be in your personal life, they are there to guide you and teach you, let you make the little mistakes for learning and keep you from making the big ones. I dont want to sound like I am preaching but rather give you a parents perspective. Yes, kids want their privacy respected, but at your age if you cant say it in front of your dad, is it really a topic you should be chatting about? I did not like all the rules I had at your age either, but I found myself setting rules and boundries for my kids just as my parents did.

I was wondering if the yahoo or MSN stuff would come up, chatting in gaming rooms is what got my daughter banned at 14, she is 17 now and mom still makes her ask permission to go online and logs her in under a restricted account.

We make too many rules, we take away all the fun, we make you do chores and waste your weekends, we love our kids, we are parents.

[toomanycats]

Shut the computer off. Go cold turkey and get out into the real world for a month or longer. No computer. Just do it. Get on your bicycle and ride around. Go out with your friends and have fun. Go find a girl and tell her about all of this, it will be a great ice breaker. Live, the virtual world is just that, virtual. You need a computer these days for studying but try going to the library. If it is that hard to walk away from it be real to yourself, your on the computer too much. Go enjoy life, at your age there is so much to discover out there. It isn't the same as seeing a picture or watching a video about it.