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Search: Posts Made By: PurpleDemon
Forum: Off Topic 25 Aug 2012, 09:46 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join...

Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would...
Forum: Off Topic 4 Aug 2012, 02:53 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
This fellow comes into a pharmacy and asks for a...

This fellow comes into a pharmacy and asks for a vial of Cyanide. The pharmacist, trying to keep a professional posture, asked what he wanted it for. He answered, "I want to kill my wife." "I'm sorry...
Forum: Off Topic 20 Jul 2012, 03:13 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
YOU CAN LAUGH BUT HER PASSWORD IS SAFE!! ...

YOU CAN LAUGH BUT HER PASSWORD IS SAFE!!

During a recent password audit by a company,it was found that an employee was using the following password:


...
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jul 2012, 01:38 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Shopping for a Husband A store that sells...

Shopping for a Husband

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive...
Forum: Off Topic 13 May 2012, 01:13 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor...

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."...
Forum: Off Topic 5 May 2012, 01:04 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Car Keys Several days ago as I left a...

Car Keys


Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave
myself a personal TSA pat down.

I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick
search in the...
Forum: Off Topic 14 Apr 2012, 05:27 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello,...

Father O'Malley answers the phone.

'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your...
Forum: Off Topic 4 Apr 2012, 01:15 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida...

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was...
Forum: Off Topic 1 Mar 2012, 05:30 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
I went fishing this morning but after a short...

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the...
Forum: Off Topic 29 Feb 2012, 10:17 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens...

Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the...
Forum: Off Topic 21 Feb 2012, 05:07 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were...

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said: "Corned beef and cabbage. If I...
Forum: Off Topic 19 Feb 2012, 02:46 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Only three doors... An airline captain was...

Only three doors...

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the...
Forum: Off Topic 10 Feb 2012, 05:24 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Hi G! Where you been? Two men waiting at...

Hi G!
Where you been?

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful,"...
Forum: Off Topic 19 Dec 2011, 07:18 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Warning for Older Men! Clever Scam . . . warn...

Warning for Older Men!
Clever Scam . . . warn your friends!!
This is very serious stuff!

This is a “heads up” for those men who may be regular Lowe’s, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, Target, or Sam’s...
Forum: Off Topic 19 Dec 2011, 03:19 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Christmas Cake Recipe You'll need the...

Christmas Cake Recipe
You'll need the following:

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Forum: Off Topic 13 Dec 2011, 04:14 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to...

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other...
Forum: Off Topic 30 Nov 2011, 11:41 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus....

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved...
Forum: Off Topic 19 Nov 2011, 03:57 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Thanksgiving Problem Solved A dad in Arizona...

Thanksgiving Problem Solved

A dad in Arizona calls his son in Montana before Thanksgiving and says... "I hate to be the bearer of bad news this time of

year, but I need to tell you that your...
Forum: Off Topic 18 Nov 2011, 01:19 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
You heard about the lady with five children whose...

You heard about the lady with five children whose doctor prescribed her Valium for anxiety and stress?

When she went back in two weeks she told the doctor that everything was wonderful!

She...
Forum: Off Topic 11 Nov 2011, 07:51 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the...

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a...
Forum: Off Topic 28 Sep 2011, 02:43 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
People born before 1946 are called The Silent...

People born before 1946 are called The Silent Generation,

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers,

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X,

And people...
Forum: Off Topic 23 Sep 2011, 04:24 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER Dear Wife, I’m writing...

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks...
Forum: Off Topic 21 Sep 2011, 08:13 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today,...

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College

in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of...
Forum: Off Topic 19 Sep 2011, 05:40 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
The minister was passing a group of young teens...

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.

"Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing who can tell the...
Forum: Off Topic 16 Sep 2011, 03:17 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 160,022
Posted By PurpleDemon
A letter from home Dear Son, Just a...

A letter from home

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive.
I’m writing this letter slowly because I know you
can’t read fast. We are all doing very well.

You won’t...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 238

 
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