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Search: Posts Made By: uufta
Forum: Off Topic 25 Dec 2008, 09:55 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Sven notices his neighbor has a sign in his yard...

Sven notices his neighbor has a sign in his yard - "Boat for Sale."

"Ole," he says, "you don't own a boat. All you got is your old tractor and your combine."

"Yup," said Ole, "And they're boat...
Forum: Off Topic 25 Aug 2008, 04:34 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful...

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman
>>>> wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus
>>>> stopped and it was
>>>> her turn to get on, she became...
Forum: Off Topic 14 Apr 2008, 07:45 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
SISTER MARY ANN'S GASOLINE Sister Mary Ann,...

SISTER MARY ANN'S GASOLINE

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, an Texaco...
Forum: Off Topic 9 Dec 2007, 06:19 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
A man kills a "deer" and takes it home to cook...

A man kills a "deer" and takes it home to cook for
dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell
the kids what kind of
meat it is, but will give them a clue and let
them guess.
...
Forum: Off Topic 13 Nov 2007, 02:26 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
> > >>GET THIS OUT TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW WHO USES...

> > >>GET THIS OUT TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW WHO USES QUARTERS!
> > >>
> > >> Hang on to any of the new Minnesota Quarters. If you have them,
> > >>they maybe worth much more than 25 cents.
> > >> The...
Forum: Off Topic 9 Aug 2007, 02:01 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
>> > One night, after a couple had retired for...

>> > One night, after a couple had retired for the night, the woman became
>> > aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
>> >
>> > He started by running his hand across...
Forum: Off Topic 6 Aug 2007, 01:11 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the...

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you are willing to forgive your enemies?" 80 % held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All...
Forum: Off Topic 11 Jul 2007, 04:39 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
All of his life Ole had heard stories of an...

All of his life Ole had heard stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to
walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On...
Forum: Off Topic 7 Jul 2007, 07:23 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
THE SHOPPERS A man walked into a fur store...

THE SHOPPERS
A man walked into a fur store accompanied by beautiful, stacked redhead. "Show my new girlfriend your finest mink," he announced loudly. The storeowner quickly retrieved a full coat,...
Forum: Off Topic 25 Jun 2007, 04:26 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Recipe For A Perfect Marriage..:) 1. Two...

Recipe For A Perfect Marriage..:)

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
Little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also...
Forum: Off Topic 17 Jun 2007, 01:04 PM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Mama's Bible Four brothers left home...

Mama's Bible


Four brothers left home for college and they all became successful doctors and prospered.Some years later they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they...
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jun 2007, 10:01 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Wink-2 Wtf...

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
>
>
>
> Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!
>
>
> YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
>
>
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jun 2007, 04:15 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Remember they are college kids, and Duke no...

Remember they are college kids, and Duke no less..:p
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jun 2007, 03:24 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
10 BEST GOLF CADDY RESPONSES # 10 --...

10 BEST GOLF CADDY RESPONSES


# 10 -- Golfer: 'Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake.'
Caddy: 'Think you can keep your head down that long?'

# 9 -- Golfer: 'I'd move heaven and earth...
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jun 2007, 03:23 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
No...EH!

No...EH!
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jun 2007, 12:39 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
At Duke University, there were four sophomores...

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of
them had an "A" so far. These four friends were so confident, that the
weekend before finals they decided to visit some...
Forum: Off Topic 15 Jun 2007, 12:36 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
(Send to friends) Can you cry under water? ...

(Send to friends)

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents...
Forum: Off Topic 14 Jun 2007, 03:53 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
Dead Hard Drive Fix It's really not too...

Dead Hard Drive Fix

It's really not too difficult fixing your own hard drive, if the problem is a head crash, or the infamous Seagate "stiction" problem, if you know what to do. You will require...
Forum: Off Topic 14 Jun 2007, 03:51 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
the curtain rods. She spent the first day...

the curtain rods.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day,...
Forum: Off Topic 29 May 2007, 11:40 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
A first grade schoolteacher in Virginia had...

A first grade schoolteacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the...
Forum: Off Topic 10 May 2007, 06:07 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND...

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE.


Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads
for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their...
Forum: Off Topic 8 May 2007, 07:21 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he...

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My word, you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.

Puzzled, she asks, "My picture?"

He...
Forum: Off Topic 17 Apr 2007, 12:14 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
>Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three leading...

>Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three leading universities, were
>Attending their first graduate-level class on emotional extremes. "Just
>To establish some parameters." said the professor to...
Forum: Off Topic 15 Apr 2007, 07:40 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
HEALTH VIOLATION A man orders a hot dog with...

HEALTH VIOLATION
A man orders a hot dog with relish from a street vendor. The vendor grabs the dog with his bare hands and puts it on a bun. He then applies the relish with his fingers. The man...
Forum: Off Topic 14 Apr 2007, 02:25 AM
Replies: 855
Views: 156,738
Posted By uufta
A successful rancher died and left everything to...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching... so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand....
Showing results 1 to 25 of 82

 
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