a touch of humor

[Experi-Mentor]

all the 7 dwarfs were sitting & relaxing in a nice, warm & comfortable bath, & they were all feeling happy. so, "happy" left the bath tub

[photo_angel2004]

E-Mail Errors..


It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can
be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled
streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a
business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a
quicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had
written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from
memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed
instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed
away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her
e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing
scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note
on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival
tomorrow.

PS. Sure is hot down here.

[Experi-Mentor]

PS. Sure is hot down here.

yep. that'll do it (lol)

[Experi-Mentor]

on x-mas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. next to him was a kid on his brand new shiny bike.

the cop said to the kid, "hey kid. nice bike you've got there. did santa bring that to you?"

the kid said, "yeah."

the cop said, "well, next year tell santa to put a tail-light on that bike." the cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

the kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "by the way, that's a nice horse you got there. did santa bring that to you?"

humoring the kid, the cop replied, "yep, he sure did."

the kid said, "well, next year tell santa to put the pr!ck underneath the horse, instead of on top."

[Experi-Mentor]

2 men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
as they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, ''vietnam, 1969.'' the other points his thumb behind him and says, ''dog crap, 20 feet back.''

[DiscoInferno]

Why did the scarecow get promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

[photo_angel2004]

The ladder to Success:


One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud. She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before. She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure. She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400 pound, 6'8" hairy biker -looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry. Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?" The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

[photo_angel2004]

Top 10 Actual Email Addresses


Many colleges and business's tend to strip the last name down to 6
characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or
end to make up an E-Mail address. For example, Mary L. Ferguson =
mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the
problems that may happen when you have a large and diverse pool of people
to choose from.
Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have
some very funny addresses. Probably not funny to the individualinvolved,
however:

TOP TEN Actual E-mail Addresses
===============================

10. Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht @dku.edu
9. Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) - cumminme @fu.edu
8. George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) -
blowmegd @dropdrawers.com

7. Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) -
dickinme @iup.edu
6. Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) - kissinfk @lvu.edu

5. Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating) -
beeranbj @myplace.com

4. Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) - aspicker @pu.edu

3. Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) - ibballin @bsu.edu

2. Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division,
Overton
Canada) - btkisser @bendover.com
1. Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) - ihadcock @tru.com

[photo_angel2004]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said,
"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny. “He turns to the third Mom, Joyce "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."

[Experi-Mentor]

jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend paul slumped over the bar. he walks over & asks paul what's wrong.
"well," replies paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that i wanted to ask out, but i got an erection every time i saw her ?"
"yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"well," says paul, straightening up, "i finally worked up the courage to ask her out, & she agreed."
"that's great !" says jeff, "when are you going out ?"
"i went to meet her this evening," continues paul, "but i was worried i'd get an erection again. so i got some duct tape & taped "it" to my leg, so if i did, it wouldn't show".
"sensible" says jeff.
"so i get to her door," says paul, "& i rang her doorbell. she answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw."
"& what happened then ?"
"i kicked her in the head."