Monitoring Software

[drfsupercenter]

Well, IRC is nothing new. It was the original AIM of sorts, and what is so great about it is that you don't need to know anything about anyone. I have been on chatrooms where no one even says where they live, and you can't just locate somebody by seeing "try.wideopenwest.com" which is what my client displays when I join a channel. I always make a point to not give away my last name, address or other information, and without such info they can not find me.

I go thru the same thing with my 13 yr. old & the rap/hip hop - I don't get it at all...& my parents thought that my 80's metal was bad stuff!!! I believe I actually need to be a bit firmer with my son at this point. My guess is that you don't watch "pro" wrestling either?

Unlike people think, there is "good" and "bad" rap. Take the song Changes by 2pac or the song When I'm Gone by Eminem. (Google the lyrics if you want). They contain a bit of foul language (remember I buy them clean anyway), but look at the messages. Nothing bad there. I don't listen to the "let's all kill people" type of songs.

[RFBurns]

It all boils down to trust. And that trust is not limited to what you are doing or not doing on the computer, it extends to what you do when you go out with friends, who your friends are, how things are going with school, your home responsibilites and so forth.

Granted no one should be tied to a post and only given enough rope to reach the dinner table and bathroom, but your parents are the only ones you can rely on to protect you, and that is simply what they are doing, protecting you.

Be greatfull that they care so much for your well being that they raise a red flag and begin to dig deep to find out what its all about. Some parents out there dont give a hoot and just let their kids run wild and do whatever they want, and then the kids end up in far, far worse situations than hanging out a long time in some online chatroom.

At least with the PC and chatroom, there is a simple solution with that.....turn it off and unplug it. With the other bad things on the street...you cannot turn that off and unplug it.

Frankly, I would rather have my child sitting in front of a PC for hours where I know where he/she is and can check on them at any time, as many times as necessary and within my home than to have to jump into the car and start driving all over to find where and what my child is doing out there on the streets, or getting that dreaded phone call from the police.

Basically it is up to you (danny) on how far and how much the trust extends.

[Derree]

I am officially grown up now - I sound like my parents and give the same advice too........... Damn !!

I know what you mean!! After I turned 30 I turned old

[drfsupercenter]

Also, that whole "don't talk to strangers" thing is great for three-year olds. Granted if someone just pulls up and asks me to help find their dog I will run away, but I don't hang out in those sorts of places.

For example, one time I was waiting in a long line at the computer store, and the guy in front of me says "wow those Philips DVDs are cheap!" So I say "yes but they are crap" and we got into a 10 minute discussion about Vertbaim and Yuden media.

The reason I choose my friends carefully is because most of my school is the "I play M rated games and swear all day" type. At least online I can tell people to watch their mouth

Additionaly, there's a certain undeniable truth in IRC, that's your ISP signature.
This is NOT YOUR IP ADDRESS. People cannot track it, etc. However, it shows your ISP.

For instance, say a person says they live in the UK but their ISP says comcast.net. I would then know they are lying. But say their ISP says .co.au on it... that would be australia etc. Those can't be changed either.

[katzdvd]

Unlike people think, there is "good" and "bad" rap. Take the song Changes by 2pac or the song When I'm Gone by Eminem

All these guys will put out a few songs that may be okay, just to "hook"; But the majority of it is unacceptable, at least for my family. Its' what these guys stand for as a whole.

My young teen does not need to be listening to songs about "drive-bys," "ridin' dirty", constant sexual references, & so on...

we have turned my son on to alternatives such as KJ-52 (christian rapper).

I know this isn't the Main topic of this thread, but it all loosely ties in with it; Your parents, as well as the others that are posting here are concerned about the moral degeneration that has occurred, & we have to be more vigilant than ever these days.

At any rate, this thread is a great dialog between parents & children.

And, if nothing else, think about this; Until you are of legal age as an adult, whatever that age is in your state, your parents are legally bound & responsible for your actions. If it is any consolation to you drf, my son thinks I am treating him as a baby, too.

But he will see one day, as we all do. RANT OFF (for now

[vw56german]

Ok, I must turn back on my rant.

Danny, look at what you are doing right here in this thread. We here as parents are trying to explain to you why it is that parents set rules and act as they do toward their children, and you are looking at each rational and trying to counter it with reason as to why it is not true.

In effect what you are doing is saying to us: "My 15 years of vast worldly experience tells me I know what I am doing, I know how the world works. You folks, who might be 2 to 3 times my age just dont understand."

At least it is good to know you are a normal teenage boy, Danny. I know you do believe that you can take care of yourself online and even in the real world, but we as parents do know that you have a lot of learning left to do and will always do our best to guide you, whether it is popular or not. Sometimes you show just how much you know by knowing when to listen and when to talk.

Rant off again for now.

[drfsupercenter]

All I was really trying to say is that not everyone you don't know in real life is bad. If all sexual preditors used chatrooms, why would Michael Jackson take up singing?

[katzdvd]

If all sexual preditors used chatrooms, why would Michael Jackson take up singing?

because there weren't any chatrooms around back when he started singing!

[drfsupercenter]

Yeah back then it was called the "conference call" button on your phone

[blutach]

Showed this thread to your mum and dad yet Danny?

Regards

[drfsupercenter]

Not with all the stuff I said, no.

Like I said, I just don't want them to know about IRC. No offense but a lot of parents these days are stupid and just assume something is bad before hearing what it really is. Better to not bring it up at all.

[blutach]

Didn't think so - so, this is just a cryfest for you then to try to persuade us.

I may have been wrong about you. Have the guts to show them. They'll still love you, believe me. And no editing!

Regards

[toomanycats]

DFS, having worked for the Federal Bureau of Prisons and having deal with paedophiles before, I wish to tell you that your just plain wrong. The stranger ( you talk about DVD's with) could have followed you or gotten enough info about you to track you and overpower you. Statistically most non-traditional crime takes place in warmer climates. You have posted enough information to conclude that you have left yourself wide-open. If no one else will say it I will, you are showing your immaturity, If I were your parent I would close you down. You need a wake up call. You are naive. You don't have a clue. I draw this conclusion from you have posted. Please be very afraid and paranoid about what is going on these days. Try and find a relative you can talk to about these issues. Do you go to church, if you do try talking to someone you trust there. My point is that you should be getting advice from friends and family, not people who you really don't know. You don't really know anybody here. Neither do I. No one here knows each other. It's the nature of the beast.

[RFBurns]

..... I just don't want them to know about IRC. No offense but a lot of parents these days are stupid and just assume something is bad before hearing what it really is. Better to not bring it up at all.

That is a grave mistake to think that your parents or someone elses are stupid and they themselves are assuming. They are not assuming anything, they are well aware of what is out there, we hear about it, read about it in newspapers and magazine articles. Who has not heard of the latest craziness in Colorado with the school shootings?! It is these kinds of things that scares the living bejeeezees out of us, that our children are exposed to such dangers and risks in places they should be safe.

You should consider this Danny. What if they feel that it is you yourself that is assuming things will be just fine without consulting them first?! Perhaps their reactions are caused by the lack of information on your part. They cannot trust you if they feel this way. And the best way to eliminate that problem is to tell them exactly what you know.

The best solution to confusion is the truth.

[drfsupercenter]

Well, even if one person gets hurt from using a chatroom every month, do you have any idea how many others don't? It's like a 1:999 chance.

I am not trying to be sissy, I just want to regain my parents' trust first, and not overpower them. They actually approved of one chatroom. But coming at them with "here's 99 things you might not want me doing" would be a bit much.

DFS, having worked for the Federal Bureau of Prisons and having deal with paedophiles before, I wish to tell you that your just plain wrong. The stranger ( you talk about DVD's with) could have followed you or gotten enough info about you to track you and overpower you. Statistically most non-traditional crime takes place in warmer climates. You have posted enough information to conclude that you have left yourself wide-open. If no one else will say it I will, you are showing your immaturity, If I were your parent I would close you down. You need a wake up call. You are naive. You don't have a clue. I draw this conclusion from you have posted. Please be very afraid and paranoid about what is going on these days. Try and find a relative you can talk to about these issues. Do you go to church, if you do try talking to someone you trust there. My point is that you should be getting advice from friends and family, not people who you really don't know. You don't really know anybody here. Neither do I. No one here knows each other. It's the nature of the beast.

I didn't say I don't trust my family and that I trust people online. I just am saying you don't need to be alert about everything.

And also, as long as you don't give away any identifyable info, how the heck can someone find other info? Try searching for "Danny" in a national phone book, and watch your scroll bar dwindle into nothing