Monitoring Software

[katzdvd]

And also, as long as you don't give away any identifyable info, how the heck can someone find other info?

I followed a thread on cdfreaks awhile ago, where a woman was chatting w/ a guy; she did give him her email address, a "generic" one, such as yahoo, hotmail, etc.

After a short while he replied to her email with her NAME, & the TOWN where she lived...she states in the thread that she gave him no identifying info. other than the email address. This was a thread from an adult female.

My point is that you should be getting advice from friends and family, not people who you really don't know. You don't really know anybody here. Neither do I. No one here knows each other. It's the nature of the beast.

toomanycats is right; he's worked in the system, seen the after-effects of this type of thing.
I work with a fellow that is a guard at a local county prison, & he tells me same kinds of stories.

The 'net could be, & can be a wonderful place for meeting people, getting together with online friends, etc., but with the "way" things are today, you have to be very concerned/afraid to make almost any contact at all.

I do a lot of ebay sales; when I started selling, I acquired a P.O. Box address at the local Post Office so I could remain anonymous when dealing with buyers. I was soon informed at the post office that there was no anonymity & that virtually anyone wanting to contact me thru the P.O. Box could easily get my phone # & home address...I was not happy with that, to say the least.

So, I guard my families' privacy very heavily. But, it seems that the criminals are always a "step ahead". That's where us parents come in. It sounds to me like you have "Top-Notch" parents that want to stay involved in your personal life; I applaud them for it! May I also suggest to them "Cyberpatrol" as a monitoring/blocking pgm. for your pc!

RANT OFF <again>

[blutach]

@katz and cats

Looks like you're no pussies when it comes to safety. And that is the number 1 role of a parent in my book. To make sure their kids are safe and well.

Regards

[toomanycats]

You have a lot of drive drf, It is really admirable. Now I am going to point to a grave mistake you have made. You posted your picture on this website. I think that was nuts. I don't think as a minor you should have been allowed too. You do need to be alert about everything. If you try it will become second nature. I had a friend whose daughter ran away from home because she got pregnant at 13 and was terrified to to tell her parents. She ran from New Jersey to Philadelphia, Pa. I went to Philly and found her in 4 hours. It is very easy to find someone if you know HOW THEY LOOK!!! I think because you are intelligent that you are tying out every possibility to find a way out. I also think after reading your posts that you will do the right thing. You will deduce it. Balance your intelligence with the love of your parents and what's in your heart also remember your parents have a lot of experience that you may not be aware of. They don't seem to be asking much of you.

[katzdvd]

Im honored! I finally got a smiley from blu! Thank you!

@ blu, you're right; I'm just lookin' out for my kid!

katz

[Kabuchan]

drf, you're looking in the wrong place for support, and you're not going to change anyone's minds. We are all parents here and the number one priority in our lives is to protect our children, whether they are 2 yrs old or 30.

I would listen to Blu and everyone else, show this thread to your folks. If you truly are talking only about Pokemon and the like, you have nothing to hide. Please go back through this thread and count how many posts have agreed with you vs. how many are against.

[Derree]

I am curious what you think an online predator looks like Danny...or one you might see on the street? I assure you that they are not just the greasy looking old guy in the raincoat and old beat up van...for all you know the guy in the computer store knows that kids go there to buy stuff, that they are the new toy stores, and that is where he 'shops' for his victims...not trying to scare you and I do like you and think you are doing some good protecting yourself but at the same time you are being naive..and I think if you want to be treated like a grown up you have to act like one...by hiding the IRC from you parents you are giving them no reason to trust you, what is it that you don't want them to see?

[soup]

All kids have to be protected, our own & others, that is why you are getting this advice in this thread drf.

[drfsupercenter]

May I also suggest to them "Cyberpatrol" as a monitoring/blocking pgm.

Blocking from what? I told you I'm totally clean (plus I hate webfilters, they block decent sites like Google image search and this forum)

I also don't like my parents interfering with my IMs and stuff. I don't say anything personal but they don't get the "tech lingo". One time my mom even asked what "LOL" meant to make sure it wasn't inapropriate. Etc.

My parents let me use the computer for the past few days, just not the internet. I will just explain the history to them and see what they say.

[lfcrule1972]

It's always going to be your call Danny, the advice here (from an adult point of view) seems fair and reasonable to me. You don't like it cos it's not what you want to hear - what you need to do now, as part of growing up is look at what's been said here impartially.

We don't know you from Adam (altho I have to agree posting a pic of yourself was a mistake) and that is how it should be - what you can see from all these posts is that we are concerned for you, like your parents are. Youth is a wonderful thing - it makes you feel free and invincible but in reality you really aren't. You might make decisions now that can badly affect the rest of your life - what your parents are trying to do is shield you from that as much as possible.

Way I see it is - if you are doing nothing untoward in IRC or MSN or whatever then show your parents. A bit of time from you to explain it all will allay the fears and promote their trust in you.

[RFBurns]

Well, even if one person gets hurt from using a chatroom every month, do you have any idea how many others don't? It's like a 1:999 chance.

And its 50/50 that it could be you that ends up being the 1 out of the 999.

I just want to regain my parents' trust first, and not overpower them. They actually approved of one chatroom. But coming at them with "here's 99 things you might not want me doing" would be a bit much.

I doubt that 99 more things would overwhelm them at all. If it were 9,999 things I am quite sure that both your parents would rather sit for 6 hours going over the 9,999 things with you instead of going over 1 instance that took you out. Trust me...as a parent and grandparent we put everything else aside, no matter how long it would take or how much there is to discuss, to try to do our best to make sure our children are safe and are taught what to look out for and what to stay away from.

...I just am saying you don't need to be alert about everything.

That used to be the saying and belief before 9/11....that nothing could happen on such a scale in the US.....and look what happend.

And also, as long as you don't give away any identifyable info, how the heck can someone find other info? Try searching for "Danny" in a national phone book, and watch your scroll bar dwindle into nothing

If determined enough...which all of the predators are...they can and will find information through other ways that have nothing to do with the internet at all. Old homework papers in the dumpster that have a full name written on it for example. Thrown away junk mail complete with address is another avenue for them to find out about you.

Point is...if enough pieces of the puzzle are assembled, the picture begins to take shape...in this case, enough bits and pieces of information will begin to assemble a profile and whereabouts about you. They will begin to monitor everything about you and the rest of your family. Where you go and when etc. Your parents know this...and is why they are concerned for your safety.

You want to maintain and earn more trust from your parents....then you need to be willing to trust their judgement and listen to them, as well as taking time out each day, maybe during dinner or set aside a time each evening to sit down with them and talk about their concerns as well as yours. Make it a regular routine, be willing to listen very carefully in what they say. Dont rush to conclusions suddenly. Let your parents know how you feel about things and they will listen as well. The communication MUST be a two-way street between you and your parents. They talk, you listen, you talk, they listen.

You might want to save this entire thread..so that when you become of age and have a family of your own, you can bring this discussion to the table when the time is right and it just might help break down any barriers you will encounter when your children reach the age you are now.

For now...dont let the barrier that is begining to build up between you and your parents get any bigger...because it is much harder to break it down when the barrier becomes too thick.

[katzdvd]

Cyberpatrol

Its' all in the configuration; it doesn't block this forum for me, only when "nasty" stuff comes up in a search on google, etc.It will block/filter chat that contains "blue" language...

[drfsupercenter]

I am saying, why block stuff when I am good from the start?

A couple other things.
Number one - it's not any safer outside than it is online. I live by Detroit, people get shot there all the time. Anyone who listens to the news would have heard about Proof getting killed over a pool game.
So since I am not paranoid like "OMG someone might shoot me when I am going to lunch" why should I be online?

Number two - What makes people think the sex offenders want you? (you meaning me in this case) - There are far more kids online than there are stalkers and the like.

Number three - many of them have moved to MySpace. I am not stupid enough to make one of those horrid profiles. I also stay away from the site because of the ads. Apparently half of people on myspace are over 40. If people on IRC say they have a myspace I tend to put them on ignore

Ultimately, why would someone spend so much time putting together "puzzle pieces" on ME? When there are kids on myspace who put their address and the likes? If they are at all lazy like I am they won't even try.

[RFBurns]

Ultimately, why would someone spend so much time putting together "puzzle pieces" on ME? When there are kids on myspace who put their address and the likes?

Why does someone spend so much time and effort stealing from a store when it is crammed full of video cameras and recorders recording every move and getting good images of their faces and getting arrested as soon as they hit the exit?!!

If they want it bad enough, they will go to great extent to get what they want, dispite the fact there are cameras or they have to put puzzle pieces together. They have a goal....to get what they are after, and not unlike a drug addict, they too do anything and everything they can to get that next fix, even if it means stealing from that store filled with video cameras or having to sift through garbage to find something to sell for that fix.

Point is DRF, that you should not take anything for granted these days with so much chaos going on. There is an old saying..."you never know what goes on behind closed doors next door", and "unless you have telepathy, you dont know what the person next to you is thinking".

As I have stated, and others here responding to your post, it is up to you that determines the extent of trust your parents will have in your activities. Be honest with them, and they will return it with trust.

[vw56german]

Danny, you keep making our point for us. Lets review now, earlier you state that you dont give out details online. Well we all just learned that you live in Detroit now didnt we??

I am with Blutach, you should show this thread to your parents.

[katzdvd]

Danny,

If I could, I would send Mr T. over to your house to talk to you
Be sure to watch the premire of his show on Oct. 11/ TV Land - 10 p.m. EST.